Friday, April 28, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
This is why I always ride with someone....
Ok. So, for those who do not know, I was horrendously late for my performance last Sunday morning at St. Luke's Episcopal church. I will start at the beginning.....
I had worked a double at the O the night before and didn't end up leaving the store until 2 in the morning so naturally, I was a bit tired. I knew I had a choir event the next day, so I resolved to get up at 9:30 and call someone to tell me my "show-up now" time. My brain would have it differently. Instead, I awoke promptly at 9:55. Still unaware of my call time, I called Whitney and asked what time it was I was to be at the church. She told me ten. At which case, I said a curse word I will fail to mention at this time. So, I rushed to put things on and got in the car. What Whitney had told me on the phone was that we were meeting in the choir room. Silly me, I thought for some reason that she meant the choir room at UAB. I thought this was odd, but I was really not thinking clearly due to lack of sleep and the urgency with which I was needed in Birmingham. So, I drive my happy butt all the way to UAB to find the parking lot completely empty and my chances of heart failure increasing. When no one answered the phone, I started to panic. So, I got on my laptop and tried to get on the website. Nope. Apparently, my wireless was being retarded. So, in the midst of my electronic stupidity, Charles(you gem you) called and politely asked where I was. I screamed some random statement and then remembered to ask where they were. Charles said St. Luke's. By this time, it was 10:30. I had never driven to St. Luke's by myself before. So, I got directions quickly and was on my way. But, Charles told me to hurry because the service started at 11:15. I said ok and hung up. And then my heart failure tendencies returned to me when I realized what he said. I thought that that day we were recording at a church. That is why I was surprised by the time and place. I frantically called Charles back and said, "Are we performing for people today?" He laughed and replied, "Yes." So, feeling like I had a massive coronary coming I drive at the speed of light down Lakeshore, ripping my clothes from my body. The guy next to me I'm sure enjoyed the show. Thank goodness my dress and accessories were still in the car from Mozart. So, I get to the end of Lakeshore and somehow manage to find myself at Cantebury. Not where I needed to be at all. So, I stopped and got directions, again, and wound up in some very nice neighborhood. Again, not where I needed to be. So, I turned around and managed to find my way to the church in which case the hyper-ventilation stopped. Then, as I found my way into the bowels of the church(lovely metaphor) I realized I had no idea where I was. Some kind of nursery. Not where I needed to be. So, I popped my head in one of the doors to ask for directions and I swear. The oldest woman alive shuffled out with inch thick glasses and a cane. She walked very slowly and talked just like some exaggerated version of an old person. When I told her I was to sing in like 2 minutes, she said, "Oh my goodness!" all warbly like and then managed to up her pace to a hobble. On our second circle around the nursery, we found a person under the age of 40 who could take me to the loft. But, when I finally got to the door, the service had started. I was wearing high heels and my keys were jingling. So, I walked quietly and grabbed hold of my keys. And if any of you have seen my key chain, it's a lovely rabbit my parents got me for Easter that say "Eeeeehhhh, somebody loves you!" So, the congregation heard the bunny rabbit, not once, but twice. So, I make it up the stairs where again the congregation heard my keys and finally saw the choir. I have never been so happy to Chris Reid's face in my life, even though it was contorted at laughter at my folly. At the end of this concert, Dr. Copleand told me to, "Go and sin no more." Fitting for the church environment we were in. I now have many planted spies in choir looking out for me and call times and places. This is why I always ride with someone. Because I just simply cannot be trusted to get myself places in one piece. Have pity on my poor soul. I find it amusing now. I hope you do too.
I had worked a double at the O the night before and didn't end up leaving the store until 2 in the morning so naturally, I was a bit tired. I knew I had a choir event the next day, so I resolved to get up at 9:30 and call someone to tell me my "show-up now" time. My brain would have it differently. Instead, I awoke promptly at 9:55. Still unaware of my call time, I called Whitney and asked what time it was I was to be at the church. She told me ten. At which case, I said a curse word I will fail to mention at this time. So, I rushed to put things on and got in the car. What Whitney had told me on the phone was that we were meeting in the choir room. Silly me, I thought for some reason that she meant the choir room at UAB. I thought this was odd, but I was really not thinking clearly due to lack of sleep and the urgency with which I was needed in Birmingham. So, I drive my happy butt all the way to UAB to find the parking lot completely empty and my chances of heart failure increasing. When no one answered the phone, I started to panic. So, I got on my laptop and tried to get on the website. Nope. Apparently, my wireless was being retarded. So, in the midst of my electronic stupidity, Charles(you gem you) called and politely asked where I was. I screamed some random statement and then remembered to ask where they were. Charles said St. Luke's. By this time, it was 10:30. I had never driven to St. Luke's by myself before. So, I got directions quickly and was on my way. But, Charles told me to hurry because the service started at 11:15. I said ok and hung up. And then my heart failure tendencies returned to me when I realized what he said. I thought that that day we were recording at a church. That is why I was surprised by the time and place. I frantically called Charles back and said, "Are we performing for people today?" He laughed and replied, "Yes." So, feeling like I had a massive coronary coming I drive at the speed of light down Lakeshore, ripping my clothes from my body. The guy next to me I'm sure enjoyed the show. Thank goodness my dress and accessories were still in the car from Mozart. So, I get to the end of Lakeshore and somehow manage to find myself at Cantebury. Not where I needed to be at all. So, I stopped and got directions, again, and wound up in some very nice neighborhood. Again, not where I needed to be. So, I turned around and managed to find my way to the church in which case the hyper-ventilation stopped. Then, as I found my way into the bowels of the church(lovely metaphor) I realized I had no idea where I was. Some kind of nursery. Not where I needed to be. So, I popped my head in one of the doors to ask for directions and I swear. The oldest woman alive shuffled out with inch thick glasses and a cane. She walked very slowly and talked just like some exaggerated version of an old person. When I told her I was to sing in like 2 minutes, she said, "Oh my goodness!" all warbly like and then managed to up her pace to a hobble. On our second circle around the nursery, we found a person under the age of 40 who could take me to the loft. But, when I finally got to the door, the service had started. I was wearing high heels and my keys were jingling. So, I walked quietly and grabbed hold of my keys. And if any of you have seen my key chain, it's a lovely rabbit my parents got me for Easter that say "Eeeeehhhh, somebody loves you!" So, the congregation heard the bunny rabbit, not once, but twice. So, I make it up the stairs where again the congregation heard my keys and finally saw the choir. I have never been so happy to Chris Reid's face in my life, even though it was contorted at laughter at my folly. At the end of this concert, Dr. Copleand told me to, "Go and sin no more." Fitting for the church environment we were in. I now have many planted spies in choir looking out for me and call times and places. This is why I always ride with someone. Because I just simply cannot be trusted to get myself places in one piece. Have pity on my poor soul. I find it amusing now. I hope you do too.
This is why I always ride with someone....
Ok. So, for those who do not know, I was horrendously late for my performance last Sunday morning at St. Luke's Episcopal church. I will start at the beginning.....
I had worked a double at the O the night before and didn't end up leaving the store until 2 in the morning so naturally, I was a bit tired. I knew I had a choir event the next day, so I resolved to get up at 9:30 and call someone to tell me my "show-up now" time. My brain would have it differently. Instead, I awoke promptly at 9:55. Still unaware of my call time, I called Whitney and asked what time it was I was to be at the church. She told me ten. At which case, I said a curse word I will fail to mention at this time. So, I rushed to put things on and got in the car. What Whitney had told me on the phone was that we were meeting in the choir room. Silly me, I thought for some reason that she meant the choir room at UAB. I thought this was odd, but I was really not thinking clearly due to lack of sleep and the urgency with which I was needed in Birmingham. So, I drive my happy butt all the way to UAB to find the parking lot completely empty and my chances of heart failure increasing. When no one answered the phone, I started to panic. So, I got on my laptop and tried to get on the website. Nope. Apparently, my wireless was being retarded. So, in the midst of my electronic stupidity, Charles(you gem you) called and politely asked where I was. I screamed some random statement and then remembered to ask where they were. Charles said St. Luke's. By this time, it was 10:30. I had never driven to St. Luke's by myself before. So, I got directions quickly and was on my way. But, Charles told me to hurry because the service started at 11:15. I said ok and hung up. And then my heart failure tendencies returned to me when I realized what he said. I thought that that day we were recording at a church. That is why I was surprised by the time and place. I frantically called Charles back and said, "Are we performing for people today?" He laughed and replied, "Yes." So, feeling like I had a massive coronary coming I drive at the speed of light down Lakeshore, ripping my clothes from my body. The guy next to me I'm sure enjoyed the show. Thank goodness my dress and accessories were still in the car from Mozart. So, I get to the end of Lakeshore and somehow manage to find myself at Cantebury. Not where I needed to be at all. So, I stopped and got directions, again, and wound up in some very nice neighborhood. Again, not where I needed to be. So, I turned around and managed to find my way to the church in which case the hyper-ventilation stopped. Then, as I found my way into the bowels of the church(lovely metaphor) I realized I had no idea where I was. Some kind of nursery. Not where I needed to be. So, I popped my head in one of the doors to ask for directions and I swear. The oldest woman alive shuffled out with inch thick glasses and a cane. She walked very slowly and talked just like some exaggerated version of an old person. When I told her I was to sing in like 2 minutes, she said, "Oh my goodness!" all warbly like and then managed to up her pace to a hobble. On our second circle around the nursery, we found a person under the age of 40 who could take me to the loft. But, when I finally got to the door, the service had started. I was wearing high heels and my keys were jingling. So, I walked quietly and grabbed hold of my keys. And if any of you have seen my key chain, it's a lovely rabbit my parents got me for Easter that say "Eeeeehhhh, somebody loves you!" So, the congregation heard the bunny rabbit, not once, but twice. So, I make it up the stairs where again the congregation heard my keys and finally saw the choir. I have never been so happy to Chris Reid's face in my life, even though it was contorted at laughter at my folly. At the end of this concert, Dr. Copleand told me to, "Go and sin no more." Fitting for the church environment we were in. I now have many planted spies in choir looking out for me and call times and places. This is why I always ride with someone. Because I just simply cannot be trusted to get myself places in one piece. Have pity on my poor soul. I find it amusing now. I hope you do too.
I had worked a double at the O the night before and didn't end up leaving the store until 2 in the morning so naturally, I was a bit tired. I knew I had a choir event the next day, so I resolved to get up at 9:30 and call someone to tell me my "show-up now" time. My brain would have it differently. Instead, I awoke promptly at 9:55. Still unaware of my call time, I called Whitney and asked what time it was I was to be at the church. She told me ten. At which case, I said a curse word I will fail to mention at this time. So, I rushed to put things on and got in the car. What Whitney had told me on the phone was that we were meeting in the choir room. Silly me, I thought for some reason that she meant the choir room at UAB. I thought this was odd, but I was really not thinking clearly due to lack of sleep and the urgency with which I was needed in Birmingham. So, I drive my happy butt all the way to UAB to find the parking lot completely empty and my chances of heart failure increasing. When no one answered the phone, I started to panic. So, I got on my laptop and tried to get on the website. Nope. Apparently, my wireless was being retarded. So, in the midst of my electronic stupidity, Charles(you gem you) called and politely asked where I was. I screamed some random statement and then remembered to ask where they were. Charles said St. Luke's. By this time, it was 10:30. I had never driven to St. Luke's by myself before. So, I got directions quickly and was on my way. But, Charles told me to hurry because the service started at 11:15. I said ok and hung up. And then my heart failure tendencies returned to me when I realized what he said. I thought that that day we were recording at a church. That is why I was surprised by the time and place. I frantically called Charles back and said, "Are we performing for people today?" He laughed and replied, "Yes." So, feeling like I had a massive coronary coming I drive at the speed of light down Lakeshore, ripping my clothes from my body. The guy next to me I'm sure enjoyed the show. Thank goodness my dress and accessories were still in the car from Mozart. So, I get to the end of Lakeshore and somehow manage to find myself at Cantebury. Not where I needed to be at all. So, I stopped and got directions, again, and wound up in some very nice neighborhood. Again, not where I needed to be. So, I turned around and managed to find my way to the church in which case the hyper-ventilation stopped. Then, as I found my way into the bowels of the church(lovely metaphor) I realized I had no idea where I was. Some kind of nursery. Not where I needed to be. So, I popped my head in one of the doors to ask for directions and I swear. The oldest woman alive shuffled out with inch thick glasses and a cane. She walked very slowly and talked just like some exaggerated version of an old person. When I told her I was to sing in like 2 minutes, she said, "Oh my goodness!" all warbly like and then managed to up her pace to a hobble. On our second circle around the nursery, we found a person under the age of 40 who could take me to the loft. But, when I finally got to the door, the service had started. I was wearing high heels and my keys were jingling. So, I walked quietly and grabbed hold of my keys. And if any of you have seen my key chain, it's a lovely rabbit my parents got me for Easter that say "Eeeeehhhh, somebody loves you!" So, the congregation heard the bunny rabbit, not once, but twice. So, I make it up the stairs where again the congregation heard my keys and finally saw the choir. I have never been so happy to Chris Reid's face in my life, even though it was contorted at laughter at my folly. At the end of this concert, Dr. Copleand told me to, "Go and sin no more." Fitting for the church environment we were in. I now have many planted spies in choir looking out for me and call times and places. This is why I always ride with someone. Because I just simply cannot be trusted to get myself places in one piece. Have pity on my poor soul. I find it amusing now. I hope you do too.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Untitled
What Hurts The Most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother meI can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets meWhat hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh....
My Wish
I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
more then anything, more then anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more then you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and you always give more then you take.
Oh More then anything,
Yeah, and more then anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more then you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother meI can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets meWhat hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh....
My Wish
I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
more then anything, more then anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more then you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and you always give more then you take.
Oh More then anything,
Yeah, and more then anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more then you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
The Retardedness Continues...
Well, what didn't happen over Spring Break? MINE SUCKED!!! Let's see. I spent two days doing nothing at the lake the first half of the week, which was nice. But, the moment I got back I had to drive to Birmingham to stay the night with one of my good friends because she was upset. That's like 6 hours of driving put together in two days. UGH. So, anyways. We hung out and had a good time. But, then Lynn(my stepdad) had knee surgery the next morning and I had meant to call him before he went in, but I forgot and felt really bad. *On a side note: He's got like 18 staples. They are so cool. He let me touch them.* And then, I made an excellent brunch for everyone on Wednesday at her house. Then, I left later on that day to go bring Lynn some chinese food. I stayed home and just didn't go to sleep. I've been having weird cases of insomnia lately. Any cures anybody? So, the next day. Didn't do much. Got my hair cut, tied Lynn's shoes cause he couldn't. Then, I did it. I broke up with Cole. I just really don't know what to say on this topic. I did it for two reasons. One: I didn't think we were meshing very well anymore. We always seemed to fight over the same things and new ones kept popping up. Two: I am going down a road I have been down before. It's that stressed out, tired, depressed, always having to please everyone road. I've done it once before and I can't do it again. When I was with him, my days were just too long. I would go to school between 5-anywhere from 5 to 7 at night. Usually after that, I would drive to work at a crappy job until like 10 or 11 that night. Then, I would try to hang out with him for an hour. That puts me back at the house at like 12. And I still had homework. Throw church and all the things I have to do for music(like practicing) in the mix and you have one unhappy, stressed out lady. I don't like that person that I see myself becoming. So, I just told him I couldn't be with him. And now, we are good friends. I hope still really good friends. It's sort of painful for both of us, since it just happened. I'm finding it easier as the days go by. He is such wonderful guy and I was lucky to have him. I just can't take care of myself right now, let alone trying to give myself to someone else. I don't want to cheapen it. I just hope that he knows he means the world to me.
But, after that whole thing happened, I went retarded. Erin decided to take me to Cirque du Soleil that night. I took two wrong turns getting to her house. I didn't even feel like I was in my body. My eyes hurt from crying too. It was a great show though. So, the next day. I had to get up really early and go back to my house. My parents were leaving for the beach. So, I get there and I start doing laundry(already in a bad mood). My grandfather comes down the street and starts screaming his head off at Lynn. They got in a total cuss fight about 15 minutes before my parents were supposed to leave. Something about coming and going too much, but I think it's because they were going to the beach and my grandfather is too sour to even go to the grocery store. He once yelled at someone for getting a flat tire on our driveway on Christmas Eve. Grinch much? So, everyone was upset. My mom didn't want to leave me at the house all weekend by myself in case my grandfather was gonna yell at me too. So I was kicked out. Sent to my grandmother (on my mother's side) and my great grandmother. These are two women with not a whole lot to do. So, I had not a whole lot to do for two days. So, I threw myself into work. I also went really retarded there too. I broke like ten dishes, hit at least 3 lamps, ran into things, forgot orders. I think I left my brain somewhere. I just don't know how to explain it. But, last and I wish it was least, I worked a double on Sunday. In which case, topping my night off, my last two tables were a party of 12 and 7. The 12 was extremely thirsty and made me run my butt off, and the 7 had my best friend in high school who blew me off bc his girlfriend didn't want us hanging out anymore. He said two polite thankyous to me and nothing else. Ouch. And their food was late. I told the kitchen they could spit in it if they wanted to...I feel bad for saying that, though;) So, I went to the freezer and kicked the wall a lot and cried.....again...I swear I can't stop crying. Everything makes me cry now. Movies, people, dogs...My dog kept whining to get on the bed..What did I do? I cried. I feel like such a retard. OH, and I feel so lazy. I did not work out once this break. And I ate an entire box of Fudge Rounds. Course, who would have had the time between all the crying and working and grandmothers and dogs and everything else.
The retardedness continued today. Yesterday was fine. I got everything sorted out school wise( my grades were slipping a bit) and I got to work out. Yea. But today, I totally feel awful. My throat is killing me. And, I slept through my first class on accident. I was like 100 feet from the building and didn't wake up. I set my alarm I swear I did. I went to sleep at like 7:15 and didn't wake up until like 9. AAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Serves me right. I should not have rolled over at 7:30. The first time the alarm rang.
But, after that whole thing happened, I went retarded. Erin decided to take me to Cirque du Soleil that night. I took two wrong turns getting to her house. I didn't even feel like I was in my body. My eyes hurt from crying too. It was a great show though. So, the next day. I had to get up really early and go back to my house. My parents were leaving for the beach. So, I get there and I start doing laundry(already in a bad mood). My grandfather comes down the street and starts screaming his head off at Lynn. They got in a total cuss fight about 15 minutes before my parents were supposed to leave. Something about coming and going too much, but I think it's because they were going to the beach and my grandfather is too sour to even go to the grocery store. He once yelled at someone for getting a flat tire on our driveway on Christmas Eve. Grinch much? So, everyone was upset. My mom didn't want to leave me at the house all weekend by myself in case my grandfather was gonna yell at me too. So I was kicked out. Sent to my grandmother (on my mother's side) and my great grandmother. These are two women with not a whole lot to do. So, I had not a whole lot to do for two days. So, I threw myself into work. I also went really retarded there too. I broke like ten dishes, hit at least 3 lamps, ran into things, forgot orders. I think I left my brain somewhere. I just don't know how to explain it. But, last and I wish it was least, I worked a double on Sunday. In which case, topping my night off, my last two tables were a party of 12 and 7. The 12 was extremely thirsty and made me run my butt off, and the 7 had my best friend in high school who blew me off bc his girlfriend didn't want us hanging out anymore. He said two polite thankyous to me and nothing else. Ouch. And their food was late. I told the kitchen they could spit in it if they wanted to...I feel bad for saying that, though;) So, I went to the freezer and kicked the wall a lot and cried.....again...I swear I can't stop crying. Everything makes me cry now. Movies, people, dogs...My dog kept whining to get on the bed..What did I do? I cried. I feel like such a retard. OH, and I feel so lazy. I did not work out once this break. And I ate an entire box of Fudge Rounds. Course, who would have had the time between all the crying and working and grandmothers and dogs and everything else.
The retardedness continued today. Yesterday was fine. I got everything sorted out school wise( my grades were slipping a bit) and I got to work out. Yea. But today, I totally feel awful. My throat is killing me. And, I slept through my first class on accident. I was like 100 feet from the building and didn't wake up. I set my alarm I swear I did. I went to sleep at like 7:15 and didn't wake up until like 9. AAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Serves me right. I should not have rolled over at 7:30. The first time the alarm rang.
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