This is why I always ride with someone....

Ok. So, for those who do not know, I was horrendously late for my performance last Sunday morning at St. Luke's Episcopal church. I will start at the beginning.....
I had worked a double at the O the night before and didn't end up leaving the store until 2 in the morning so naturally, I was a bit tired. I knew I had a choir event the next day, so I resolved to get up at 9:30 and call someone to tell me my "show-up now" time. My brain would have it differently. Instead, I awoke promptly at 9:55. Still unaware of my call time, I called Whitney and asked what time it was I was to be at the church. She told me ten. At which case, I said a curse word I will fail to mention at this time. So, I rushed to put things on and got in the car. What Whitney had told me on the phone was that we were meeting in the choir room. Silly me, I thought for some reason that she meant the choir room at UAB. I thought this was odd, but I was really not thinking clearly due to lack of sleep and the urgency with which I was needed in Birmingham. So, I drive my happy butt all the way to UAB to find the parking lot completely empty and my chances of heart failure increasing. When no one answered the phone, I started to panic. So, I got on my laptop and tried to get on the website. Nope. Apparently, my wireless was being retarded. So, in the midst of my electronic stupidity, Charles(you gem you) called and politely asked where I was. I screamed some random statement and then remembered to ask where they were. Charles said St. Luke's. By this time, it was 10:30. I had never driven to St. Luke's by myself before. So, I got directions quickly and was on my way. But, Charles told me to hurry because the service started at 11:15. I said ok and hung up. And then my heart failure tendencies returned to me when I realized what he said. I thought that that day we were recording at a church. That is why I was surprised by the time and place. I frantically called Charles back and said, "Are we performing for people today?" He laughed and replied, "Yes." So, feeling like I had a massive coronary coming I drive at the speed of light down Lakeshore, ripping my clothes from my body. The guy next to me I'm sure enjoyed the show. Thank goodness my dress and accessories were still in the car from Mozart. So, I get to the end of Lakeshore and somehow manage to find myself at Cantebury. Not where I needed to be at all. So, I stopped and got directions, again, and wound up in some very nice neighborhood. Again, not where I needed to be. So, I turned around and managed to find my way to the church in which case the hyper-ventilation stopped. Then, as I found my way into the bowels of the church(lovely metaphor) I realized I had no idea where I was. Some kind of nursery. Not where I needed to be. So, I popped my head in one of the doors to ask for directions and I swear. The oldest woman alive shuffled out with inch thick glasses and a cane. She walked very slowly and talked just like some exaggerated version of an old person. When I told her I was to sing in like 2 minutes, she said, "Oh my goodness!" all warbly like and then managed to up her pace to a hobble. On our second circle around the nursery, we found a person under the age of 40 who could take me to the loft. But, when I finally got to the door, the service had started. I was wearing high heels and my keys were jingling. So, I walked quietly and grabbed hold of my keys. And if any of you have seen my key chain, it's a lovely rabbit my parents got me for Easter that say "Eeeeehhhh, somebody loves you!" So, the congregation heard the bunny rabbit, not once, but twice. So, I make it up the stairs where again the congregation heard my keys and finally saw the choir. I have never been so happy to Chris Reid's face in my life, even though it was contorted at laughter at my folly. At the end of this concert, Dr. Copleand told me to, "Go and sin no more." Fitting for the church environment we were in. I now have many planted spies in choir looking out for me and call times and places. This is why I always ride with someone. Because I just simply cannot be trusted to get myself places in one piece. Have pity on my poor soul. I find it amusing now. I hope you do too.