Well, what didn't happen over Spring Break? MINE SUCKED!!! Let's see. I spent two days doing nothing at the lake the first half of the week, which was nice. But, the moment I got back I had to drive to Birmingham to stay the night with one of my good friends because she was upset. That's like 6 hours of driving put together in two days. UGH. So, anyways. We hung out and had a good time. But, then Lynn(my stepdad) had knee surgery the next morning and I had meant to call him before he went in, but I forgot and felt really bad. *On a side note: He's got like 18 staples. They are so cool. He let me touch them.* And then, I made an excellent brunch for everyone on Wednesday at her house. Then, I left later on that day to go bring Lynn some chinese food. I stayed home and just didn't go to sleep. I've been having weird cases of insomnia lately. Any cures anybody? So, the next day. Didn't do much. Got my hair cut, tied Lynn's shoes cause he couldn't. Then, I did it. I broke up with Cole. I just really don't know what to say on this topic. I did it for two reasons. One: I didn't think we were meshing very well anymore. We always seemed to fight over the same things and new ones kept popping up. Two: I am going down a road I have been down before. It's that stressed out, tired, depressed, always having to please everyone road. I've done it once before and I can't do it again. When I was with him, my days were just too long. I would go to school between 5-anywhere from 5 to 7 at night. Usually after that, I would drive to work at a crappy job until like 10 or 11 that night. Then, I would try to hang out with him for an hour. That puts me back at the house at like 12. And I still had homework. Throw church and all the things I have to do for music(like practicing) in the mix and you have one unhappy, stressed out lady. I don't like that person that I see myself becoming. So, I just told him I couldn't be with him. And now, we are good friends. I hope still really good friends. It's sort of painful for both of us, since it just happened. I'm finding it easier as the days go by. He is such wonderful guy and I was lucky to have him. I just can't take care of myself right now, let alone trying to give myself to someone else. I don't want to cheapen it. I just hope that he knows he means the world to me.
But, after that whole thing happened, I went retarded. Erin decided to take me to Cirque du Soleil that night. I took two wrong turns getting to her house. I didn't even feel like I was in my body. My eyes hurt from crying too. It was a great show though. So, the next day. I had to get up really early and go back to my house. My parents were leaving for the beach. So, I get there and I start doing laundry(already in a bad mood). My grandfather comes down the street and starts screaming his head off at Lynn. They got in a total cuss fight about 15 minutes before my parents were supposed to leave. Something about coming and going too much, but I think it's because they were going to the beach and my grandfather is too sour to even go to the grocery store. He once yelled at someone for getting a flat tire on our driveway on Christmas Eve. Grinch much? So, everyone was upset. My mom didn't want to leave me at the house all weekend by myself in case my grandfather was gonna yell at me too. So I was kicked out. Sent to my grandmother (on my mother's side) and my great grandmother. These are two women with not a whole lot to do. So, I had not a whole lot to do for two days. So, I threw myself into work. I also went really retarded there too. I broke like ten dishes, hit at least 3 lamps, ran into things, forgot orders. I think I left my brain somewhere. I just don't know how to explain it. But, last and I wish it was least, I worked a double on Sunday. In which case, topping my night off, my last two tables were a party of 12 and 7. The 12 was extremely thirsty and made me run my butt off, and the 7 had my best friend in high school who blew me off bc his girlfriend didn't want us hanging out anymore. He said two polite thankyous to me and nothing else. Ouch. And their food was late. I told the kitchen they could spit in it if they wanted to...I feel bad for saying that, though;) So, I went to the freezer and kicked the wall a lot and cried.....again...I swear I can't stop crying. Everything makes me cry now. Movies, people, dogs...My dog kept whining to get on the bed..What did I do? I cried. I feel like such a retard. OH, and I feel so lazy. I did not work out once this break. And I ate an entire box of Fudge Rounds. Course, who would have had the time between all the crying and working and grandmothers and dogs and everything else.
The retardedness continued today. Yesterday was fine. I got everything sorted out school wise( my grades were slipping a bit) and I got to work out. Yea. But today, I totally feel awful. My throat is killing me. And, I slept through my first class on accident. I was like 100 feet from the building and didn't wake up. I set my alarm I swear I did. I went to sleep at like 7:15 and didn't wake up until like 9. AAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Serves me right. I should not have rolled over at 7:30. The first time the alarm rang.
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6 comments:
Insomnia can be caused by many things: stress, improper diet, too much caffeine, etc.
I had insomnia a few summers ago, and my doctor told me to go buy a bottle of melatonin. It's something your body produces naturally that helps regulate sleep among other things. When I started taking it, I was able to finally sleep. Just take it about half an hour before you want to sleep, then go to bed. Don't watch tv or listen to the radio or anything. Just turn out the lights and close your eyes. Hope this helps.
thanks chris...might try that. Is melatonin expensive?
No, I was the lucky one. You are the most amazing girl I have ever met, and I can't thank you enough for making such an wonderful impact in my life. Yes, we had a rough couple of months, and I do regret some of the stuff I said or did, but that's the past. I'm not going to let it hinder the relationship we have now. We both need to get things straight in our life and figure out who we are. Who knows, maybe somewhere down this long and tiresome road, we'll try again. I know, no guarantees, just hopes of a young, love-sick kid. You know I'll be here for you as long as you want me to, so don't be afraid to ask for anything. Just because we aren't together doesn't mean that we can't still share the same trust and confidence that we used to. Take care of yourself Sam, and please don't worry about me. It'll only make matters worse. I love you. I always will.
Depends on where you get it. I think I paid about $9 for my bottle. I'll bring you some tomorrow, though, so you can see if it works for you.
Hope you're enjoying Narnia, raisinets, and non-buttered popcorn (you weirdo). Get to feeling better soon. Can't wait to hang out. Turtle.
You and your drugs....I'm an ol' fashioned kid, I guess. You need to update. I'm tired of looking at this depressing blog. Period. You need to leave me some comments too; my blog is still a virgin to comments.
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