Talent and Jewels of Self Confidence

I have looked back at posts and realized just how sad and boring they all are. I seem to only blog when I have something or someone to complain about. I hate that, but writing seems to be the best way of expressing my anger sometimes. I sing when I'm happy, but I think I write when I'm sad or angry. So, change of pace. I will talk about something good. We, and by we I mean myself and the choir I belong to, just got back from a long noozy trip to West Virginia. It was awesome...Most people wouldn't exactly call it a vacation, but it was certainly one to me. I got to relax and not worry about class or people(I don't mind choir people too much mostly). I just got to sing for three days and shop and hang out with my friends. Not to mention we did really well on our performance. We were invited to an ACDA convention which is a big deal. Choir directors from all over the South are there to watch a premium select of choral ensembles perform. You can imagine how big this is for Dr. Copeland. He handled it all like a pro though...because...he is...a....pro. You know what I mean. He smoothed over all kinds of mishaps like car crashes, late night drunken partying, and even a fire alarm. The whole time, he did not lose his cool. We did really well onstage, except for the last song. There are sometimes when I am extremely thankful to be a part of a choir that can recognize mistakes. Even though we went sharp really bad, at least the whole choir went at the same time. Granted, I would rather we not go sharp at all....lol. It was the most fun I had performing the whole year. I also had fun behind the scenes. The girls were not too catty, and I have never had the freedom to wander at will on a trip before. My favorite wandering was the hike to the CVS pharmacy to buy alcohol. That is definately one for the memory books. That and Martin...Martin is a charming German man who finds pleasure in the most odd American things. It's very refreshing to see someone appreciate the things we don't have interest in anymore. He is very intelligent and a fricken Macguyver. He opened a Guinness bottle with a PLASTIC tonic water bottle. It was cool....Too bad it took Clay forever to do it.....lol. I love all the relationships that are building as well. It makes me miss all the ones I had in high school that aren't there anymore. One such conversation made me realize just how fortunate I really am. No matter how much adversity you must face, in the end it is will that takes you where you want to go. I know all the things required of a great performer, but it always sounds a little bit different coming from someone else. Each time I hear it I take something different away from it. This time, I took something I've never had trouble with before. Lately, I've been struggling with confidence. I've always assumed that I would perform for the rest of my life, but it wasn't until college that I really started to doubt that. Maybe I didn't have what it takes. I wish now that I had a little bit of my assumptions back. But, this conversation showed me that I do. But, as you grow older, you have to fight to keep your confidence alive. People only succeed when they believe in themselves. Insecurities will always exist, but the great ones are the people who don't let that stand in their way. I guess I just needed a pep talk. Thanks to that person and to the choir. For helping to bring it out in me. I just need to find ways to help the better parts of me come out for people to see. I have to stop living college life and start enjoying it, while I still can. I sometimes get too bogged down in all the stuff I have to worry about and don't pay attention to the people who make it great. I have made some good friends on this trip and I am very thankful for it. Especially since I can't go on the New York trip. I wish I could be there...but alas, fate would not have it. They will do well anyway. I know it. I hope they take jewels of self-confidence with them. That and hard work are all it takes to make a great performer... and a person. Well...and talent. But, that's between us and God. Will try to blog happier from now on. Have a reason to now.