Well, I just don't know where I am lately. Musically that is. It is Valentine's Day, and it is not going well at all. Apart from having an entirely crappy day so far, I have to work tonight. I wish I could say I have some romantic plans with my boyfriend, but in fact, I do not. I will be watching other couples do it right in front of me.
But, back to the music. I just feel like I am no good anymore. I performed in voice class last friday and we had a choral performance on Sunday. Both times, I felt completely inadequate for some reason. At the voice class, I felt breathy and very nervous. Most people told me I did well, but I severely disagree. I could have done so much better! I guess that's true with all things. Because I was so nervous, I wasn't nearly as expressive as I wanted to be, because I was worried about getting myself back under control. AND THE CHOIR PERFORMANCE? Oh my gosh. I didn't breathe at all (I felt) and my voice was so dry, that I didn't sing half of the high notes. Which really crippled us, because I stand right next to the loudest girl in the soprano section and she had a cold. So, it sounded really funny. She coughed a lot and I just didn't sing. So, there was a gap right in the middle of the sound. Kind of funny in retrospect. I just feel really....not good at my craft. And this is my major?????AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm calm. I may need to lie down for a minute or two. I could be a little irritated?
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2 comments:
Hey Baby, It's all going to be okay. Everybody has periods of struggling with their voice....mine was these past few weeks. You just have to calm down a bit, focus on what you need to do, and let time fix the other things. Don't freak out over these couple of things. You're an amazing vocalist and performer. You have what it takes. Just don't let these recent things steer you away from your goals. That's what I had to learn. I love you and I hope your day is better tomorrow. Sweet Dreams my BEA.
Cole
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