Honesty

People continually surprise me. I love it! For me, there is nothing better than peeling off that extra layer over everyone to reveal who they really are inside. How they really feel and think starts to come out and it's like you're meeting an entirely different person for the first time. I wish I could explain to you how I feel. I usually walk around in a daze of hopeless romanticism, but the daze seems to be cloudier than usual. While at times it's uncomfortable, it's pleasant. I miss these sensations. None of you have any idea of what I'm talking about, but that's ok. Most of the time, I don't even know what I'm talking about. I'm just trying to put down what it feels like to be in my world. To have a feeling and swim in it without regard or consequence to punishment or reward. Just to embrace a feeling, acknowledge it. I don't ever need to go past just feeling it. I can at least allow myself that. It goes with any emotion. Anger, Jealousy, Love, Contentment. Each are great in their own ways, even the ugly ones like anger and jealousy. But, I think even though we should not always act on them, I do believe we should feel them. And not only that, but acknowledge it. That is the truest form of honesty with ourselves. I think that's a problem I have is never being honest with myself. I would say I'm optimistic, but I'm afraid of bad things just like everyone else. No one can live the perfect life. Everyone gets themselves into impossible situations sometimes, but what gets you through it is simple honesty with yourself. "How much can I take?" is usually the question I ask myself. I hope I can take it all. If you're reading this journal entry and asking "Why is she writing this?" then you're asking the wrong question. If you read it and ask yourself, "I wonder if I'm honest with myself?" then you see the point of entry. Honesty with yourself can lead to a whole other side of yourself with other people. I want to be honest, so that new person can make other people feel great; just like it makes me feel great. It is an incredible sense of freedom. I love it....